Spring is coming
The winter has been too long. As if inspired by the movie Frozen, I have been really frozen inside and out. It has been a very long winter for me and things have been at a standstill for so long.The PhD took way longer than I expected, the clinical endorsement problem and financial stress was lingering for longer than I had expected, recovering from sickness and heartache all took it's toil.
For a long time, my life was suspended, as if there was no movement. Now, all of a sudden, so many things are happening for me. Will get the feedback from the first round of PhD examiners in a little under 2 weeks, handed in the forms to get clinical endorsement (marking the end of the clinical registrar program), finally down to the healthy weight range, finally smiling a full smile, finally getting some financial stability, and fnally getting somewhere with letting go of past pains (reconnected with old friends and aligned myself with new friends). I'm not there yet, but I feel the spring air coming.
But through all that, I struggled. I struggled because I tried to find my own way of solving all these problems. I would start with solution A...Z, and nothing would work, it would seem that I dug myself deeper and deeper into debt, heartache, procrastination, depression. Relying on my own might was a waste of energy. When I learned to let go, ask people to pray for me, pray for myself, and just let go, and LET GOD, things started to fall into place. Not into an image of what I thought my life would look like, but a picture of what God wants my life to look like.
