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Testimony- trying to fill life's emptiness

This is the testimony sharing we had at youth fellowship on Saturday night. Please excuse the poor English translation.

Summary: This girl was the top of her class and tried to get the approval of her parents and others by being the best in everything- in school, in relationships, in looks, etc. She was able to feel successful throughout her primary and secondary school life. Then she started to notice that those around her were really pretty and she felt inadequate. She started to get symptoms of bulimia nervosa and insomnia but then it just kept getting worse. The frequency of her episodes got much more frequent and uncontrollable.

Even when she got into university, she tried to be the best and was in many different committees. It was at this time she was being pursued by several boys. But they grew tired of waiting for her and this left her devastated. Can love be eternal?

One day in class, she saw that one of her peers had a bible. She was laughing at him, mocking him, but he invited her to his bible study anyway. When she went, listened, and prayed. She wept. She felt like she was a sinner- the first time this had entered her mind.

The second part of the testimony shows the changes in her life. How God has used her to reach out to others.

My thoughts: Watching this in a dark room, surrounded by people who knew me was a bit difficult. The girl's history is not unlike my own. For the longest time I had a deep need to seek approval of others. And I too have accumulated many many folders worth of worthless paper. Certificates, awards that were used to boost my worthiness.

I too tried to fill the void in my life with friendships, material possessions, leadership positions, relationships. And this was after having grown up in a family of Christians! Alas, it took me quite a while to turn away from that line of thought. I'm not perfect now... but I know God isn't done with me yet!




If you or anyone you know suffers from Bulimia Nervosa, please see this website for details: 

http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/bulimia-nervosa.cfm

怎麼還愛我 How can you still love me?

Last night I bumped into the first guy that ever asked me out. At first I didn't recognize him and I doubt he recognized me. And then we caught each other's gaze, smile, nodded and continued on our separate ways. It's a funny story, when this guy asked me out, I confronted him, why would you do that? He was stunned at the question this little girl asked him. That little boy has become a great man with many achievements but still that innocent and gentle soul. 

Movies, TV, novels all promise of happily ever afters. And I've heard the same promise made but rarely kept in real life. I don't think people deliberately lie to you though. In that instant, they do believe that they have a future with you. Things happen, people change. There are no guarantees right? 

WRONG. 

There is a love that transcends time. He chose me though there is nothing special about me. And in the crowd or millions and millions of people- he chose you! He promised that he will love you. And he has kept this promise. Doesn't matter how much you have changed. He still loves you. 



Chinese- English TRANSLATION by kikoprincess

作曲:Jason Lai@ETERNITY
填詞:凌東成編曲:Jim Ling



lyrics http://hk.music.yahoo.com/album-song.html?songcode=YAH100008352


怎麼還愛我
[How can you still love me?]

錯過了風光遠途 快已到終點回頭 
[The missed scenery are far away, almost at the end, ]
卻不多不少 思典於眼前
[Not much or little, but your grace is before my eyes]
灰心失意事 總相信有你意思 
[In bothersome things I believe there is always your purpose]
猜不透你心意 因何待我這備至
[I can't guess your will but why wait for me in every way]


看透了悲喜滿懷 鑒察我心思
[I've seen past the joys and sorrows, search my thoughts]
明明是魯莽軟弱 甚或自私
[Obviously reckless, weak or selfish thoughts]
心中的抉擇都想我完全合意
[I want the choices in my heart to be completely acceptable]
今縱逃離你飛向月球中 仍無法能躲開你
[If I now fly away from you towards the moon, I cannot hide from you]

當天去追尋求的誰嫌多
[That day I chased after so many things]
只得軀殼與鏡裡那個我雙雙對望
[Only to avoid the person starring at me through the mirror]
慨嘆歲月唏噓跌盪 憾事實太多
[There are many things that I have regretted]
怎知你於歧途中仍留低
[Why have you stayed behind in the journey]
竟伸手懸崖旁抓著我 再說甚麼
[You reached out and grabbed by hand while I was hanging on a cliff, what else to say?]
是你付上真愛 今永留永在
[You gave real love, eternal and everlasting]
怎可配得這麼的愛
[How can I be worth this love?]

世界多麼的廣闊 日子卻蹉跎

[How vast the world, days wasted]
偏偏你於人群中 給我愛甚多
[You plucked me from the crowd and gave me so much love]
應該放開從前的愁和鎖
[I need to let go of past worries and burdens]
屈膝禱告 過往我已錯過今天慶賀
[kneel down to pray, I was wrong before but now I celebrate]
寄往以後不可怠惰 孕育著愛果
[Never to be stuck in idleness but to be bursting with fruits]
多一秒鐘如能生存仍想
[I want to survive for another second ]
一生終結完成主付託 發放熱火
[To finish the purpose given to me by God, to be burning with a passionate fire]
為你盡我的愛 生命藏愛內
[Through your love for me, to have love within life]
祝福去將紛爭掩蓋
[To use blessings to cover up any disputes]

What are you waiting for? My baby brother got baptised today


My brother, like me, was born into a Christian family. When he was still a baby, mum took us to church. And at that time, our church was just a simple gathering of Asian families in someone's home. And as we grew up, Sunday school was in that person's garage. The church grew and so did we.

My brother was born smart. To me, he never seemed to need to try hard at anything. I would try my best in music, practice for hours, he would come along and be able to master a piece of music without much effort. I would spend time planning a piece of artwork and he would create masterpieces without a second thought. I would spend hours and hours memorizing facts and doing calculations which were done with such ease for my little brother. I tried out for sporting teams, and trained hard, he wouldn't train at all and yet surpass me. Everything everything. He was naturally gifted in a number of areas.

This for him was as much of a blessing as a hindrance. Without always intending, he would be on the wrong side of teachers, Sunday school teachers and the general public. The smart ass. When we taught Sunday school, he would help out and be a nuisance to teachers because he seemed to know more than them, and was sharper than them. He wasn't well respected by his peers at church nor the aunties and uncles growing up. And I think he had difficulties with listening to people he thought wasn't as smart as himself.

And we had serious fights when we were growing up. This was partly my fault because I was truly annoying, but my brother was also very stubborn. I was always the favorite and he saw that this was unfair, he didn't yield.

We often asked my brother why he didn't want to get baptised here. And he would give me different reasons.



http://youtu.be/9Eqzt_4x52k

He was waiting to be changed overnight. He was waiting for an earth-shattering experience.  But then he realised that he had been changing very slowly into the man he is today. He saw others get baptised and realised that he didn't need to wait. He could be a good example unto others. As soon as you have commited your life to Christ, there is no reason for you to wait to become baptised. It's a natural response, as a testimony to others.


And as a sister, who has grown up with him, I can testify to the fact that my brother has changed, step by step. It doesn't happen overnight, but with faith, it will happen. We sit down and talk and laugh now, something that I could never expect us to be able to do. We have a really good relationship now, and that would not have been possible if this wasn't lead by the love of God. My brother, a genius is now such a humble man. He is willing to serve others and love others as himself. He is willing to go above the call of duty at work, school and in the general community. He cares for others and has a burden to help the weak. He leads bible studies with authority and prays with compassion. I am unbelievably proud of my baby brother. Even though he is soon to be Doctor Li, I will always consider him my Little Li.

Are you waiting for something? Are you waiting for some miracle to happen before you make the leap? Well, it did. Over 2000 years ago, before you even existed, a God loved you- all of you, so much that he took all your sins on the cross and made you right with God. He rose from the grave and ascended to heaven, a miracle. You don't have to wait till you get a terminal illness or experience some change in emotion to commit yourself to Christ. And live as a living sacrifice to repay him for your love. Let my life be a proof of your love.




Tabs
http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/f/for_king_and_country/the_proof_of_your_love_crd.htm

THE PROOF OF YOUR LOVE  
(capo 3)

INTRO: Dm     Am     C     F     x2

VERSE 1
       Dm      Am                                                      
If I sing but don't have love 
   C                      F
I waste my breath with every song
  Dm        Am             C            F
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise.  
      Dm            Am
If I speak with a silver tongue
   C                 F
Convince a crowd but don't have love 
   Dm       Am                C           F
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say
 
CHORUS
   Dm      Am           C                  G
So let my life be the proof, The proof of Your love
Dm      Am             C                   G
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
Dm             Am           C             G
How You lived, how You died Love is sacrifice
   Dm     Am            C                  G
So let my life be the proof, The proof of Your love

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK: Dm     Am     C     F     x2

VERSE 2
     Dm        Am
If I give to a needy soul 
    C                     F
But don't have love then who is poor?
   Dm               Am       C          F
It seems all the poverty is found in me

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
 F             C       Am            G
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh; When it's all said and done
F              C       Am              G
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh; When we sing our final song
F                   G
Only love remains. Only love remains
 
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK 2: Dm     Am     C     G     x2

REPEAT CHORUS

ENDING: Dm     Am     C     F     x2

More like Mary- Happy Mothers Day

FIRSTLY. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
I don't think any words can do it justice. I simply can't thank my mum enough.

Response to I want to be more like Mary by examining my mother. 
http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/holidays/christmas/i-want-to-be-more-like-mary/

Mary was chosen to be the mother of the Lord Jesus Christ. He raised Jesus and his human side reveals what type of women she was. And in our first encounter of Mary in the bible, we see that she exhibits many valuable characteristics that mothers can have. And one day, I want to be that type of mother too!

The characteristics of Mary:
- Faith.
I am reminded of the morning after my father passed away. I found my mother downstairs reading the bible. Despite the circumstances, she was willing to trust in God's word for guidance. And whenever, there are positive or negative events in our lives, she always returns to the bible.

- Divine Nature
My mother is not a saint. She is just another women filled with motherly love. But she impresses on me, many characteristics of Mary. And although, out of my pride, I sometimes want to be better than my mum, but there are definitely characteristics I want to have. Mum encourages us to be more like Jesus each and everyday. To be more forgiving, to be love.

- Individual Worth
She gives everything for my brother and I and the church. She works to feed us, she let us learn many things growing up so we can be of service to the church: indulging us in piano lessons, singing lessons, etc. We were POOR she had to work hard to make these things available to us. She knows what she can do for God's kingdom and knows her role.

- Knowledge
My bible study habits come largely from my mother, who ritualistically reads the bible and related books. You talk about something, and mum can usually find the reference in the bible within a few minutes. She tried to instill this skill in us by reading to us and encouraging us to memorize bible verses from a young age.

- Choice and accountability
You know, I'm deeply touched but mum has been praying for my future partner and me for a long time. And she has faith to know that I will meet that person one day. She is also good in keeping me accountable... when my heart leads me wayward.

- Good works
Even though our resources and skills are limited, mum always supported whatever volunteer, charity, fund raising efforts we had. And she herself did many acts of service, quietly without being noticed.

- Integrity
Undoubtedly mum tries to keep integrity in whatever she does. And she radiates. Those around her can feel her joy.

- Virtue
My mother is responsible for the way I am today. Since I lost my father at a young age, she has bravely taken on both roles. She fed us by working in lowly positions of employment and didn't seek other companionship for our sake. 


Thank you to my dear mother who has put up with me when I was annoying and bratty, supported me when I chased impossible dreams and encouraged me to move on with my life. She is a quiet woman who works her hardest. She taught me to seek the Lord and obey his commands. 

THANKS MUM. 


Deuteronomy 6


Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


____________________________

Please support my efforts in the Gold Coast Marathon 10km run. This year I will be running for Compassion. 


Original article:
http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/holidays/christmas/i-want-to-be-more-like-mary/

Mary is such a hero to me.  I could study her and study her.  She has so much to teach us.  Woman to woman.

I am fascinated by her reaction to the Angel Gabriel.  A response like this one is hard to come by in the scriptures.  I wonder to myself, “Shannon, if an angel came to you, what would you do?  What would be your first, very raw, response?”  Would you be like Mary?  Or would you be like others and be afraid, and doubt, and wonder if they came to the wrong person, or brought the wrong message?”
“And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee:  blessed art thou among women.  And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.”  (Luke 1:28-29)
I find it so interesting that Luke mentions that she was “troubled at his saying”, not “troubled at the angel”, of which Luke had no problem showing that Zacharias was earlier in the same chapter.  Mary was clearly a righteous young woman who knew much about the coming Messiah.  The verses that soon follow show that Mary understood the promised prophecies and at the moment was able to testify many things about him.  She would have known that the Messiah was to be born through the royal lineage of David, of which she was.  She knew that she was a qualified candidate for such a sacred position.  And in this unexpected moment, she was able to process the message of the angel, not just the shock of him being there.  What a prepared young woman she was!  Clearly, she already had faith in such things.
“And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.  And the angel departed from her.”  (Luke 1:38)
She didn’t ask for a sign, or proof.  She just submitted.  I don’t think this is a response that could come without the kind of faith that you have been developing for a long time.  I can only imagine that if an angel appeared to me, I would reveal a lot about myself and where I really stood.
I would love to know more about her.  I would love to hear what she was like, to hear stories.  Such a beautiful example of all of the young woman values.  Of faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity and virtue.

Her FAITH:

She never doubted, wondered or wavered at the Angel’s announcement to her.   Mary didn’t know the details of how she would fulfill the mission she was given, nor did she understand the full meaning of it.  But she trusted, believed and then acted on it.

Her DIVINE NATURE:

She clearly had a testimony that life existed on the other side of the veil just as much as on this side.  She showed no need to gather her bearings that an angel actually existed.  She would have understood that Gabriel was a spirit, just as she was.  Both spirit children of Heavenly Father with divine potentials.

Her INDIVIDUAL WORTH:

Mary never said, as others had, that she did not have the capacity to do this assignment.  She fully offered herself:  ”Behold the handmaid of the Lord“.  She believed that she could, even if she didn’t know how she would.  This is the ultimate sign of humility.  Sometimes we thing that saying we can’t do something is humility, but perhaps it is actually pride.  Saying we can’t is doubting who we really are, and what the Atonement is really capable of doing in our lives.  Saying we can is fully submitting and then praying like crazy for the help to do it.

Her KNOWLEDGE:

She clearly knew about angels, about the Messiah, and the prophecies surrounding the coming of the Lord.   After she arrived to Elisabeth’s home,  she was able to quote several prophecies, in what is now commonly known as Mary’s Magnificat (Luke 1:4655).  Also, the knowledge deeply rooted in her was able to steady her in an unexpected moment.  Her reaction to the Angel was so revealing of things she already knew.  That same knowledge would surely give her strength during her unexpected pregnancy, almost losing Joseph, her long journey to Bethlehem, the less than favorable birthing circumstance, having strangers suddenly appear to see her child, and her sudden announcement to escape Bethlehem because of Herod’s evil doings.

Her CHOICE AND ACCOUNTABILITY:

When Gabriel first appeared to her, his salutation was: “Hail thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee:  blessed art thou among women”  (Luke 1:28).  You don’t earn this title without a long history of proving yourself.  She must have been so righteous, and from the Premortal Life to Mortality!  For she was chosen long before she ever came to earth.  What a powerful spirit she was.  She had used her agency to become stronger and stronger, not weaker.  What a great example to all women!  Plus, Joseph had chosen her to be his wife!  The best description of Joseph is that he was a “just” man (Matthew 1:19).  If you are “just”, then justice or the law is on your side – you aren’t depending on mercy, you have done what is right.  Therefore, Joseph was a very righteous man, one who highly valued God’s laws and commandments.  And he had chosen Mary to be his wife.  He wouldn’t have wanted anything other than someone like her.

Her GOOD WORKS:

At the very beginning of her pregnancy, she traveled to where Elisabeth was and stayed with her for 3 months.  Before being pregnant myself, I didn’t appreciate how difficult of a journey that could have been for her, but it doesn’t seem that something be hard ever stopped Mary.  She did things because they were right, not because they were convenient.

Her INTEGRITY:

I have often wondered how difficult it would have been for her to start showing her pregnancy.  Certainly a few heads were turned and a few gossiping interpretations were exchanged.  For someone so pure, and so committed to her standards, how would it have felt to know that others thought such things of you?  Integrity comes from the word “integer” which means “whole”.  So if you have integrity, you wholly live what you believe.  And who is a better example of that than Mary?  So to know that you are being accused of something so sacred to you… she must have kept a lot of feelings in.

Her VIRTUE:

Salutations and introductions of her highlighted her purity.  ”To a virgin, espoused to a man” (Luke 1:27), “And I beheld the city of Nazareth; and in the city of Nazareth I beheld a virgin (1 Nephi 11:13).  And it is her purity that qualified her for this sacred role.  If she would have lost her purity, she would have forfeited this opportunity.  I wonder how hard Satan had worked on her, as he is constantly trying to unravel God’s plan.  But Mary was pure, and purity brings power.  And that confidence that comes when you feel pure before God, would impact how she felt before the Angel and in accepting this call.  Its not just about being virtuous, its about being confident before God.

Why do we follow? Miracle after miracle

Here is the brief version of my part in my grandpa's testimony.

Last June, we received a phone call from overseas. My grandpa was in a critical condition in hospital, his main artery had suddenly erupted. It was a miracle that my grandpa made it to the hospital. Most people who had that condition never make it to the hospital. When he went to the hospital, because he was also a patient with terminal cancer, he was given attention right away and the doctors rushed him away. Miracle #1.

The doctors told the family to be prepared that he would not last that night.
My family gathered together to pray, all of our family overseas contacted their relevant support networks and churches to pray for my grandpa. Although we could pray for a full recovery- for nothing is impossible for our God, we prayed instead that God gave my grandpa an opportunity to get to know him. Just an opportunity to make that choice.

Our prayers were answered, my grandpa had survived the night. Miracle #2. Even the doctors were shocked. Many family members who were overseas, including ourselves, tried our best to rush back to Hong Kong. For us to drop all our work, studies, and to buy plane tickets at such short notice was extremely difficult, so we were playing wait and see. Even if we rushed back, there could be no guarantees that my grandpa would still be alive when we got there. Amazingly, my aunty was able to book FREE tickets for my family and I to get back to HK, and wonderfully, I was able to just drop my work here at a moment's notice. When we arrived in HK, we found out my grandpa was no longer in a severely dangerous situation. Miracle #3. We were told that his situation got better knowing that we were all rushing back.

When I got to the hospital and saw my grandpa, I couldnt' help but cry. (Tears are flowing right now as I type and every time I share this testimony.) My grandpa lost one of his arms during the invasion of HK by the Japanese. Despite being disabled, he refused to receive the pension, instead, he worked hard. He believed he could take care of his family and over the years, despite our pleas he would not believe in Jesus Christ. Partly, I believe is because of his pride, tradition and because he didn't want to quit some of his habits of gambling and smoking. Anyway, I digress. My grandpa bought me up. He fed me with his one arm. I was a difficult baby/infant. I would even ask for milk all hours of the night "grandpa, milk milk" and he would carry me and give me milk with his one able arm. Because of my health condition, I would then on cue vomit everything I ate. Yet he continued to feed me. When I saw my grandpa in hospital last year, he was weak, connected to all types of tubes and had difficulty breathing. He would was strong was now weak.

Because my grandpa only had one arm, he couldn't press the emergency button if he needed any medical attention. So by special permission one family member at a time was allowed to be by his side 24 hours a day. He was in a large shared room and so each of us took a shift to look after my grandpa. Everyday, the doctors were surprised to see that he was still there. The christians amongst our family members took their turns to not only look after him but share with him hymns, bible verses, stories and testimonies.

I will share two of those stories/testimonies here. The first one is about bread. This isn't a story that's in the bible but has always been in my heart. Jesus and his two disciples John and Peter were out and Jesus said to them both, "grab a stone and follow me". Obediently, John and Peter each took up a stone and followed. John took a decent sized stone and followed, Peter, thinking that he is smart took a smaller one and followed. After some time, they became hungry and ask Jesus for food. Jesus turned the stones into bread and John had his fill, Peter ate the little he had. Again, Jesus told them to take a stone and follow him. Again John took a decent sized stone but this time Peter took a large stone- hoping that this will be turned into a large piece of bread. After some time, Peter asked Jesus, when are you going to turn this into a piece of bread? But Jesus turned and said I never said I was going to turn this into bread.

This story, although not in the bible points to the problem that many Christians face. Some may have chosen to follow Jesus because of things they thought Jesus would give them- money, good exam grades, food, shelter. Do we follow Jesus because of bread? Or do we follow because he told us to?

The second is from the bible, it's about Lazarus. Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead.

John 11:25-26

New International Version (NIV)
 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”


Jesus himself died and rose back to life.

After I told this story, I asked whether my grandpa was willing to let Jesus be his Lord and Saviour. He nodded. I explained that we were all sinners (not just because some gamble or smoke, but because we have the sin of origin), that Jesus Christ chose to come and die for those sins because he loved us. All we have to do to obtain eternal life is to believe in him and follow him as Lord. I asked whether he was willing. He nodded. I told him that he must believe in his heart and confess with his mouth. By that stage, my grandpa had great difficulty breathing, let alone speaking. But with great determination he boldly said " I believe". Miracle #4.

This was followed up by a visiting pastor and other families and friends. He reaffirmed his conviction to anyone who would ask him. Several days later, my grandfather passed away. But during the last days of his life, my grandfather was peaceful. Miracle #5. He didn't complain of pain (even though he was drowning in his own blood). And as we gathered his belongings the other patients in the room asked whether we can sing Jesus songs and how they could believe. Even in his deathbed, my grandpa was witnessing for Christ.

This testimony brings me great hope.
1) For nonbelievers. Jesus doesn't promise great wealthy or things of this earth. But by his death, he has made us right with God. He rose to life and gives us the promise of eternal life.
2) For believers. Take every opportunity to spread the gospel, always be prepared to give an explanation of what you believe in. If my grandfather can do it in his last days, you can do it now too.

And I have been telling anyone who is keen to hear this testimony. Sometimes when I share this with people they cry, sometimes, they ask questions, sometimes they change. But it doesn't matter what the outcome is of this sharing. God will do his work in his own time. We each have a role in the kingdom of God. I am just so blessed to be able to see so many miracles after miracles.


My redeemer lives