I cried at work today.
Yes, I cried at work today. It's been a while. I didn't cry because of any clients or any conflicts with particular people at work. I cried because it hurt. And I let myself.There is sometimes shame attached to crying. It's a natural human expression, and sometimes, the more it hurts, the more you want to cry. And it's a true moment of suffering.
I had some interesting time thinking about the situation. I cried because it hurt, it hurt because it mattered. It wasn't effective to keep crying, so after a few tissues, I allowed myself to reset gradually and focused my attention to what actually mattered.
And on the ride home, as I was waiting at the traffic light, I smiled. I smiled even though my eyes were still a bit teary. I am so incredibly blessed. I thanked God that 99% of the time I love ALL elements of my job, that is extremely rare. I thanked God because I actually care about the work I do. I thanked God because I love the people I work with and alongside. I thanked God because I have a supportive friendship network. And I really really thanked God for the challenge he gave me today. Not enjoyable, but an important experience.
While I may still hand in my resignation letter, for every last moment I have left at work, I will put in my all- because of the people (even though the thoughts of doing vindictive things have cross my mind :P).
Hurt is a human experience common to all humans. Even Jesus, cried. it was the shortest verse in the bible- "He Cried". And just with those two words, it communicates something we can all understand. Hurt is a natural part of our current existence. I am just like anyone else. And I'm loved by a God who understands the pain that I have gone through today.
