Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye IV

09:53:00 Karen Li 3 Comments

Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye IV: Looking ahead

Summary: In the first section Harris reminds us that worldly dating is defective. In the second second, he explains how we should love others. In the third section he teaches us how to make it work.

Having realistic expectations about marriage
- marriage doesn't end at the ceremony
Marriage should be held in honor: Bible equates Jesus relationship with the church as a marriage. 
- Marriage is a refining process. Marriage is giving and forgiving.

Looking for true character
- looking for things that last.
- True character is defined by the decisions and choices that people make each and everyday.
- How a person relates to God.Looking for a man or woman who as a single, seeks God wholeheartedly, putting Him before anything else.
- How a person relates to authorities.
- How a person relates to parents
- How a person relates to the opposite sex
- How a person relates to companions
- Personal discipline. How a person uses time, money, care for own body.

Attitudes:
- An attitude of willing obedience to God
- An attitude of humility
- Attitude of industriousness
- Attitude of contenment

From friendship to marriage?
- Casual friendship-> deeper friendship -> courtship -> engagement
- responsible for relationship with that person, with family/friends, with church and God
- friendship deepening activities with family and friends
- avoid doing things that express romantic love.
- watch and pray before moving past friendship.
- greenlights: God's word, are you ready for marriage? Approval and support from parents. God's peace.
- guys take the lead for the bible ordains a guy to be the spiritual leader.  Girls be really honest in your responses.

Someday I'll have a story to tell.

My thoughts: I found this section very helpful. I mean, it's much of the same things we would talk to couples about who go through couples therapy. Irrelevant of your belief, its important to be clear on expectations on a relationship. It is also important to really observe whether the person fits into your expectations of a partner and visa versa.

Over many meals, the topic of what to look for in a potential partner is often thrown around. Many times, I have had to defend my "checklist" to christians and non-christians alike. Now my list isn't huge, but it's probably hard to achieve. Someone who loves God, loves me and loves others. And likewise, I am hoping that I can be that person too- someone who strives to please God, serve and Honor God with all that I do. Someone who truly loves those around me.

Having taken this different attitude- of saying goodbye to dating, I have been challenged. Just when I am not dating, suddenly many many eligible guys come to the centre of the stage. But thanks to my commitment with some people I know- who will keep me accountable, I will treat these guys as nothing but friends. This is truly a refreshing way to get to know others without expectations of a relationship. I feel like I am growing stronger relationships without compromising emotionally. And until I get God's green light I look forward to meeting many more male and female friends!

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