Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye II

12:21:00 Karen Li 0 Comments

Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye II: The heart of the matter

Summary: After reading the first section, I discovered that Harris' view on romantic relationships was quite radical. He calls for us to step up and not become romantically involved until we are ready for commitment. He calls for us to change our attitudes towards romance.

Love is sex? Sex is pleasure? Falling madly in love? There are misleading messages in today's society.

What is love? Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, boast and isn't proud.  It isn't rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (Paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8).

True love is not going out of control, it's not the pleasure of the moment. Love is not the fulfillment of self but for the glory of God and the good of others.

The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Delayed gratification is an important lesson. Intimacy costs commitment. And Any season of singleness is a gift from God.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself.
- Am I using my gift of singleness as He desires?
- Am I concentrating on "simply pleasing the master"?
- Am I using this season of my life to become a "holy" instrument for God?
- Or am I scrambling to find a romantic relationship with someone by dating?
- Am I failing to believe that God is sovereign over this part of my life and can provide for me?
- Could I possibly be throwing away the gift of singleness?
- Am I cluttering my life with needless complications and worries of dating?

A excerpt from "Sometime by May Riley Smith".
... Then be content poor heart; 
God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold; 
we must not tear the close-shut leaves apart,- 
Time will reveal the chalices of gold."

Little tiny steps of compromise can cause to greater sins. Even David, who was a man after God's own heart took little steps ... away from God. Purity doesn't happen by accident. It requires constant work, to stay on the course of purity.
- Respect the deep significance of physical intimacy
- Set your standards too high. Don't put yourself in situations of vulnerability.
- Make the purity of others a priority. Am I causing others to sin? Guys: don't flirt with a girls heart before you are ready. Don't give her too much attention, avoid doing things in her life that makes it harder for her to focus on serving god. Girls- don't lead a guy astray with your charms. If the way you dress causes guys to stumble, cover up.

The room. [Paraphrased]
Harris had a dream. He was in a room, and one wall was covered with small index-sized cards, you know like those in the library. He opens one file and it lists the "girls I have liked" and all the names of the girls he has ever liked was listed. Another card listed the "lies I have told" and another "Jokes I have laughed at". "Things I have done in anger" and list after list, he was surprised that everything he has done was recorded. Each written in his own writing, each signed with his own signature. "Lustful thoughts" "Songs I have listened to" As he viewed these files he became worried that others would see the files. He was scared. "People I have shared the gospel with" was such a small file, he was embarassed. He began to cry... and someone walked in the room. No, not him, anyone but him. There was Jesus. He looked at  his face. Gravely, he turned and started to sign each and every index card in red, with his blood. No! Harris shouted, but Jesus continued to sign every card in his name. And when he finished the last card, he said "It is finished" and walked away. The room of the door was not locked, because there were still cards to be written.


My thoughts: A dear person in my life once told me the same thing, I was the right girl but I came at the wrong time. And sometimes I think I did meet the right type of person, but at the wrong time. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Even if someone ticks all your boxes,  they come at a time where you are not ready to commit, it's not the right thing...
I think I caused unnecessary complications in my life for no reason at all! Ah, the gift of retrospective thinking. Oh how I wish I understood what I understand now. It would have saved many nights of heartbreak and much time. It's not that I gained a terrible amount of knowledge, but I have finally gained an understanding. What I have learned now is that Love is about looking to the interest of others, being patient, carefully observing as to protect others.


The dream, the Room, really really shook me. Everything I've done. Every single thing has been signed by Jesus.
I want to live a life that is pure. I want to hear Jesus say, well done.

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