Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye III

21:34:00 Karen Li 0 Comments

Review: I kissed Dating Goodbye III: Building a new lifestyle.

Summary: In the first part of the book Harris points us the defectiveness of modern dating. In the second part of the book, he talks about why it's important to pursue purity.

How to build a Godly lifestyle
1) start with a clean slate. Even if it means breaking up. Adjusting the focus of a relationship. No blame shifting- Just apologize.
2) make your parents your teammates.
3) establish clear guidelines.
4) check to see who's whispering in your ear. Whatever is tempting you towards discontentment or compromise, don't put up with it.Tune it out. Turn it off.
5) Season your conviction with humility. Giving different answers for different people. Don't try to win an argument.


How to stay just friends.
- Biblical fellowship. Congregate to discus and sharing what God is teaching us and doing in us.
- Affection. are for each other as brothers and sisters.
- Genuine care: comfort each other.
- Side by side walk together not move towards each other.
- understand the difference between friendship and intimacy. As CS Lewis said "We picture lovers face to face, but friends side by side, their eyes look ahead".
- be inclusive not exclusive.
- Make a priority of same-sex friendships
- seek opportunities to serve, not be entertained.

Guard your heart
- maintain the well spring - the source of all.
- do not love the world. The cravings of sinful man. Infatuation, lust and self-pity. Rejecting the notion that a human relationship can ever completely fulfill us. Not to look lustfully at others. Don't use loneliness as an excuse to turn from God and exalt own needs.

Hustle while you wait.
- Not the do nothing approach. Like Rebekah in the bible, she was doing her best in her daily tasks.
- Practice intimacy with family
- Practice seeking God with others
- Practice financial responsibility
- Practice parenthood
- Practice practical life skills


My thoughts:
Ah, so many regrets- Unfortunately there is more than one occasion where I have been impure and really it's a dark cloud that covers me. So many times I've given my heart away to someone who didn't deserve it and so my heart isn't as pure as it could be. For girls at least, emotionally purity is really important. Don't act like you are married before you are. Don't share such intimate thoughts or imagine thoughts of futures that have not eventuated.
It's hard to let go, but sometimes, it's the most important thing to do. Over the past year, I have tried my best to let go of the past. I have resolved past relationship: gone back and apologized to the people I have hurt. I have made right relationships- made sure the focus is on friendship and nothing more. I have refocused my friendship with guys because I love them as brothers, I want to help guard their purity.
I have learned to really listen to the advice of other people around me, based on biblical principles. Got them on my team to help keep me accountable. When I feel weak or vulnerable in a situation, they are a team of people that I can turn to- they will set me straight. And I too am proud to be on their team, to keep them accountable to the commitments they have made with God. To help give them advice to guard their hearts.
More than likely most of us will end up in a relationship, but in the meantime, we should make every effort to be pure and to protect the purity of others-physically, emotionally, spiritually.
My dear friends, I ask that you help to guard my heart.

I'm not sure if there is someone out there for me. But there is nothing stopping me from actively pursing purity to please God. I'm sure my future partner will thank me for it.

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