Don't settle for less

16:34:00 Karen Li 0 Comments

After some self-inflicted heartbreak, I have been protecting myself. I have been avoiding certain things, situations. I had even put last year's prayer diary away out of reach.

God had answered every prayer in his own way. From the smallest of prayers to the more broad prayers about direction.

Sometimes God puts us in situations and we may not understand why. But if we keep a record of our prayers, he might just remember to thank God for his many many many countless blessings; even if they were disguised at the time.

Last year I asked for direct and clear guidance of whether a particular person was the one. God had answered that prayer so clearly for me at the time. And the answer is so completely different today.

I will not compromise and settle for anything less. And if that means a life of singleness? Than so be it. I am looking for the right type of person. A servant. A provider. A god lover. A protector. A kind man. A helper of the needy. Respected. Someone with integrity. I am so angry at myself for not properly guarding my heart in the past. For not properly observing before acting. I am disappointed in my judgement. And am soooo thankful God has giving me this guidance.

I too have many changes I need to make before I begin my search for my other half. I need to learn to love and fear the lord more- become more Godly. I need to nag less, work harder, be more submissive, be more gentle, learn how to care for others, and be respected. More concretely, I need to work hard in my ministry and phd, think before I act/talk, be more gentle and considerate of others and learn to keep house. A long way to go yet. In other words, I am not ready. Not even close.

But rest assured, I will not settle less than for Boaz.

Yes, this was written in a heated moment. But after re-reading it, I found that sometimes things need to be said and lessons needed to be learned. I learned them the hard way, but hopefully others can avoid the pain and learn through observation.

Inspired by what my friend shared with me:


Boaz: A Model

Kim Davidson
September 20, 2010
I tread lightly with this post. Not because it is untrue – because it is definitely truth. But, I have been accused of not always encouraging single men in my life, and I want this post to be encouraging to them. So, I write this post with two-fold purpose:
1. To encourage my brothers in Christ. Women have the Proverbs 31 woman (with Ruth as a foundation and model for her), men have Boaz. Just like us females will never live out the P31 perfectly, we still strive. That is what I want to encourage you guys with, whom I love in Christ, to press on toward the characteristics that we see in Boaz in the story of Ruth, and ultimately to be like Christ.
2. Women. First single: don’t settle. I’ve had a couple of guys tell me recently that I have every right to be picky. Look for these characteristics of Boaz that we see in Scripture. I don’t know any man, married or single, that embodies these perfectly – none of us are perfect – but look for one, and want to be pursued by one, who is striving towards these. Married: encourage your husbands in these. Don’t nag, encourage. When you see actions that model these, encourage him in that.
So, with my objectives (hopefully) clearly stated, I proceed. I am thankful for two men in speaking this truth into my life recently: Brian Frost, my friend and pastor at Providence, and David Platt, pastor at Brookhills in Birmingham.
1. A Servant. I think this was the first time I had seen this in the story of Ruth. When they were at the table in chapter 2, Boaz passes Ruth the bread. He wasn’t sitting there waiting for Ruth to serve him. He took the initiative and served Ruth.
2. A Generous Giver/Provider. Boaz didn’t just command the men to leave Ruth with a days reaping, Ruth left there with 30-50 lbs of harvest grains. He didn’t just provide for her needs, he graciously gave her far above what she needed. Col 3.20 and Rom 8.32 come to mind.
3. A God Lover. The first thing we hear Boaz say is “The Lord be with you.” This initial greeting would have declared his allegiance. Love Jesus men. Women, follow men who love Jesus. This is crucial. Not just men who are Christians – but are actively loving their Jesus, their Savior, pressing deeper into the gospel.
4. A Protector. In chapter 2, Boaz commands his men to allow Ruth to glean and not to reproach her.
5. A Kind Man. Kindness to Ruth, a stranger, a Moabite woman, and to his “employees”.
6. A Helper of the Needy. Boaz looked out for those less fortunate than he was. He had compassion on them.
7. Respected. This is crucial (especially for the women). Boaz was respected in the gates (we see this in chapter 2 and 4 of Ruth). Women, if a man is pursuing you or you think you might like a guy, get some counsel from the godly men in your life – do they respect this guy? If people tell you some things that you may not have seen in your brief encounters with him, please take them to heart. I have not always done that, and wish I had. Wisdom, ladies, comes sometimes away from attraction.
8. Integrity. Boaz, as we see in chapter 3, was a man of integrity. He didn’t take advantage of the situation that presented itself to him. And he also dealt honestly with Mr So-and-so in chapter 4 who was the next Kinsman Redeemer in line for Ruth.
Sometimes women ask me what they should look for in a husband, I want to now tell them to go read the book of Ruth. This list of characteristics isn’t exhaustive, but its a good start. Others that I would want to include are: cute, adventurous, humble, meek…you know, important ones! (haha) I love it. If I could pick out 4 books in the Bible, the OT and the NT and I could only have 4: they would be Ruth, Psalms, Romans, and Colossians. Love them.
Ruth gives me such a vibrant picture of the gospel – what Jesus has done for me. Took me, a foreigner, and died for me, graciously showered me with kindness and hope and good news – far above anything I deserved or could ever imagine. Jesus is so gracious. Press in to the gospel. Be encouraged!

Building 429. 

All my life I tried so hard to find me
But the more I search, the less it all makes sense
I'm finding now that this was not about me
Your older will cascanded in the end

Take me as I am
I've got nothing left to lose
I have lifted on empty hands
'Cause I was made for You

You, oh God, a God consuming fire
So burn, burn, burn away what isn't true
Because I will never need it any other
I would keep my heart chasing after You

You are God, there is no other
I won't bow before another
I was made for, I was made for You

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